Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
