Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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