Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
