no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
