Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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