I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
