I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize