I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
