how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
