The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
