Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize