Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
