Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize