morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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