we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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