apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
