They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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