So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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