My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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