so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
