it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
