Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
