Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
