I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
