You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
