In the future we'll all be gay
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
