Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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