Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
