i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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