i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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