Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
