His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
