She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
When are your genitals available?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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