turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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