There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
