no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
