Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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