how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
