your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My vagina just recognized that song.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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