I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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