You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
