I'm eating all of the evidence.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
