i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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