I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
