elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
