My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize