take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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