garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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