ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
