David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
