O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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