Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
