she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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