this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
