Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
