big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
