Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
