so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize