we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
