I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
