Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Still dying that you shit outside
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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