i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Barsexuality is the new black.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
