I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We had sex on a dog bed..
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