I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
