let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize