Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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