Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
