I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
