Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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